Memorial Service for Joshua Daniel Merriman

I want to write about my baby, about what took place in our lives two weeks ago, about the emptiness I feel, about the comfort God has brought, and about what He is already showing me as I walk through this valley.  I will write...in due time.  But for now, I want to share Pastor Dave Carlson's (who has kindly given me  permission to do so) message from Joshua's memorial service.  I pray that it will be a blessing to you, dear friends.  Thank you for your continued prayers for us.

Memorial Service for Joshua Daniel Merriman, Cheyenne Evangelical Free Church, 2/4/11, 2:00pm

Welcome in Scripture

            (Psalm 103:13-17) “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children.”

            We meet today to offer our encouragement, our love and support to a family who has lost so much. Children are precious to us, and the loss of Joshua Daniel Merriam is great. We all together share that loss.

To the Merriman family, you are not alone. God’s grace and His people are here. At the same time, and just as important, we meet today to confess our continuing trust in the sovereign work of God in our lives. Our faith remains, our hope persists and our love endures. We honor the name of the Lord our God. He is exalted among us through our Savior Jesus Christ.

           

Prayer

            Lord, we come today to acknowledge your unfailing love for us. We are reminded in your word that your ways are not our ways, your thoughts are not our thoughts. We cannot explain; we do not understand the whole of what you do. But we remain unshaken in our commitment to be your servants. We know that you love children. Jesus warmly welcomed them in his days upon the earth. We know that you also love us in our grieving. You are present among us today and so we ask for your comfort. Through your Word and by the Spirit grant us a fresh and new reminder of eternity. We also long to be in your presence. In the name of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord we come before you now.  Amen

Song “You Are My All in All”

Scripture Readings

            Scripture is a help and a comfort, so I will read several texts this afternoon. Recently, on January 23 this congregation observed, along with many others across our country, the Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. We showed a video clip of the development of a baby within its mother’s womb. The miracle of a new life is common but that in no way diminishes the creative power of our God. Caroline worked for some time with the Life Choice Pregnancy Care Center of Cheyenne where these words must take on an even greater significance. Jake serves the Board of Directors of Life Choice with pastoral counsel as needed. These words acknowledge the creative power of our God.   Psalm 139:7-16

            Together with the Merrimans we celebrated the news of a baby on the way. From our perspective, God was bringing into their lives a blessing. We knew a couple who would in great joy welcome a child into their home and nurture that child in the Christian life. Yet by God’s sovereign design, he had a different plan for this home. On Sunday morning at 34 weeks of age, God had already welcomed Joshua to himself. The Merrimans have a profound trust in the work of God. Both Jake and Caroline claim verses from Romans 8 as especially significant. This chapter is the high water mark of the book of Romans. As Caroline carried their baby, and as Jake practiced reciting the book of Romans, which he is memorizing, I trust that baby Joshua heard these words spoken by his father. They remain a comfort to us all.   Romans 8:26-39

Song, “Great Is Thy Faithfulness”

Message

            A baby’s name is not always full of meaning. It may be clever, unique or creative in our day, and I no longer assume I know how to spell a newborn’s name. A baby may be named for a movie star, a baseball player or off the menu of Starbucks. We live in a new day. The name of your son Joshua Daniel Merriman has special meaning. This fall, Jake, you taught a class on the book of Joshua. You were impressed with the personal traits of Joshua as he led the nation of Israel. Joshua was a leader with character. He was God’s man.

            Daniel is also your middle name. Until Sunday morning, you did not know if your baby was a boy or girl, though Caroline had that mother’s intuition that it would be a boy. Jake, your son was born on your birthday, and the memory of Joshua will be part of your family’s story every January 30^th. Next year will be a difficult birthday, and some after that. Then as you approach an age sometime around my own, and you otherwise would forget your own birthday, at least you will always have Joshua’s. That’s a good thing, even when hard.

            The biblical character of Joshua was given a very difficult task. The nation of Israel had known only Moses as their leader. He was larger than life as God’s deliverer, and it is very hard to follow a legend. Joshua was chosen. God gave him a commission which was both a promise and a challenge. There would be battles ahead, but God would be with him. Israel would gain an inheritance, but they must faithfully follow the word of the Lord, not turning to the right or to the left. If the people of Israel did all that the Lord called them to do, then they would have success in the land. But the nation of Israel had a poor track record up to then. So God’s specific words to Joshua take on great meaning.   Joshua 1:5b-9

            The rest of the story describes the struggle. God kept his promise. A nation found its home. Joshua had claimed these promises, acted upon them, and the Lord honored him.

            During the difficult time of delivery on Sunday morning, as the impact of what was taking place became more known with each contraction, you claimed the words of Joshua 1:9 as your own, Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. That was a wonderful promise to cling to during those moments, and a gift of your son’s name to you. May I extend that promise further? It remains true. The Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Do not be frightened. Do not be dismayed. There will be days when you are reminded of the loss of Joshua. Tomorrow was to be a joy filled baby shower right here. There is a day circled on the calendar of your mind when the birth of Joshua was expected. Can I say it again; the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Commit your way to Him and find His promise to be true. It is the word of the Lord.

           

            The other text of Scripture that you asked me to share this afternoon is from the less known book of Lamentations. It derives its name from the sorrow of the moment as the nation of Judah and city of Jerusalem were being overrun. It was a very hard time in the land. The prophet Jeremiah, very good with words, expressed the lament that was felt by so many. Their sorrow was genuine, the grief was real.

            Sometimes we Christians want to pass right over verses like these and refuse to acknowledge the reality of our pain. We want victory; we want the joy of the Lord. But maybe we should slow down. I would suggest that if we have no sorrow, we receive no comfort. I will not be one to say that you must soon rise up and overcome the loss in your soul. Rather, seek the comfort of our God through the embrace of your loss. Jeremiah understood that as he spoke for many then, and for many today in these words:  Lamentations 3:1-6

            Anyone else ever been there? The agony of loss, the pain of affliction? Jeremiah described it as darkness, wasting away, brokenness, bitterness and tribulation. It has not changed. It still feels that way. Thank you both for being brave enough to say “this is hard, it hurts, I wish it would go away.”

            Jesus said it also in the Beatitudes when he acknowledged, Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. As you know and have expressed to me, it is not Christian teaching to deny sorrow or pain. They are real and accompany life. But the blessing of the Bible is that there is comfort beyond the sorrow. We are people who live in hope anticipating the new day. Again, we have been given the guideline by Jesus in living through the darkness. We first acknowledge, even embrace our sorrow, and then we can be comforted.

            It was true for Jeremiah, who wrote in the midst of trouble. He described the sorrow of an entire nation, but he could at the same time look ahead. He knew the sun would rise. He anticipated a new day. And he wrote these familiar words of hope and joy that are able to transform a life.   Lamentations 3:19-26

            These are words of a transformation that can only come from God. It is hopeful. It is forward thinking. And it is true. Caroline, one kind soul shared with you the words of verse 26, “It is good that one should wait quietly” when you were praying for a child. One month later your status changed to expecting a child. The change from praying for to expecting is huge. Your life has changed again. God has not. His promise has not. That is why we declare with Jeremiah that “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning great is your faithfulness.” We just sang moments ago the words of the Christian hymn based upon this promise of Lamentations, Great Is Thy Faithfulness. It remains true indeed.

            Permit my reminder of God’s faithfulness even in this very hard time. Gretchen and I heard your thoughts on Sunday afternoon in your room at the hospital. You acknowledged that God had gone ahead to soften the blow of this loss in so many ways. You had planned to leave Sunday and drive to Sioux Falls. God kept you in Cheyenne and were not on the road in the middle of South Dakota, where this birth would have been so difficult. You had already done all the hospital pre-check in work on Thursday last week, making Sunday morning easier than it might have been. You both were to be gone all this past week, to Sioux Falls, and then Jake to the pastor’s conference in Minneapolis. As we know now, you needed this week together and you had a schedule that had already been cleared. Caroline, you had even worked ahead on your class assignments, so that you did not have to study this week to keep up. Jake, last Saturday you rehearsed with the worship team, and Gionatan had been asked to lead and choose songs. Those songs ministered to a hurting congregation last Sunday morning, chosen beforehand by a God who knows all things.

            I can go on. Some persons deny this and say we look for such things to try to give meaning to tragedies. They call them coincidence and are surprised by them. You call them the hand of God. You see them as His mercies which never end, His faithfulness which is new every morning. With that confident trust in the living God, you will go on, and will give Him glory.

            Allow no one to rob you of your grief. Allow no one to deny your comfort. In His time. In His way. Our God lives. Our God reigns over all. “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” Together, we look to the Lord today.  Amen. 

Words of Blessing by Jake and Caroline

Song, “Blessed Be Your Name

Dismissal

            On behalf of Jake and Caroline I thank you for many prayers, for the food provided, for the expressions of love. I thank you for your presence today and trust in your continuing kindness as well. You are all invited to share some food in the social hall where you can greet family. This service of memorial is not the end. We will remember Joshua, Jake and Caroline as we demonstrate Christ’s love in prayer and in acts of kindness from His people, His church. So, let us close in prayer.

Prayer

            Lord, encourage us through the promise of your word that by faith in Jesus Christ we can live in your presence for all eternity. When we see Jesus, we will see all those who have died in Him. That is our hope, our confident expectation.  Encourage, comfort and strengthen us for the days ahead. We commit again to you, our hope, faith, and love.

            As we go now, we claim the encouragement of Your Word:

Benediction  (from 2 Cor. 1:3-5)              Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. 

May grace and peace be yours in the name of the Father and of the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Amen